THE CASE OF THE DRUNKEN HEIRESS (A BEACON HILL MURDER MYSTERY)
By Karen Carson
INTERIOR. 10:30 A.M. SATURDAY. BEANTOWN PUB. WAITSTAFF MEMBER, FI, SERVES COFFEE TO 2 MEN THEN WALKS AROUND CLEANING TABLES AND REPLENISHING UTENSILS. DR. BLAISE WASHINGTON. IN GOLF SHIRT CHALKS HIS POOL STICK WATCHING DETECTIVE KENYATTA GROSSMAN. SHE IS DRESSED IN JEANS AND LONG SLEEVED SHIRT. SHE STUDIES THE POOL TABLE.
DR. WASHINGTON: I have to admit, I’m a little worried.
DETECTIVE KENYATTA GROSSMAN: (EYEING THE POOL TABLETOP) About what? This blocked pocket?
DR. WASHINGTON: No. (LAUGHS) You’re doing fine. You’re a pro. I mean how far Colin O’Shea is involved with Massachusetts Solar Panels. What do they have on him to pay him 100Gs?
DET. GROSSMAN: Five ball in the side pocket. I talked to the condominium board president--
DR. WASHINGTON: Barbara Salerno? Yeah. Nice woman. Very meticulous. I remember when she was voted in. I’d bought my unit before she was even born. I was trying a case in Boston and I walked through the Commons at lunch time. I stood right on the spot where I’d been standing when Dr. King came to town in the ‘60s. I wanted to buy a place near the park and some lawyer friends of mine helped me find the one I have now. I’ve seen condo presidents come and go but Barbara, she knows her stuff.
DET. GROSSMAN: (HITTING MORE BALLS IN POCKETS) I couldn’t get anything out of her. She claimed she’d never heard of MSP--
DR. WASHINGTON: But she’s a big advocate of solar energy. Do you notice the solar panels on buildings all over Beacon Hill? That was Barbara’s doing. And she had to fight with residents and with each administration on the Hill back then. Especially with landmark buildings. My granddaughter’s alma mater wanted to upgrade their campus. The dorms and lecture halls all had nice bay windows from when they were built decades ago and there are strict rules about altering a facade of such buildings. Can you imagine the time Barbara had, convincing the old
guard on the Hill that solar energy makes sense? An uphill battle all the way! (DET. GROSSMAN SINKS THE LAST BALL INTO A POCKET AND CHEERS. HER STOMACH GROWLS LOUDLY)
DET. GROSSMAN: Sorry!
DR. WASHINGTON: Don’t worry about it. You’re hungry! You won, and according to “Blaise Rules” the loser picks up the lunch tab!
DET. GROSSMAN: No, sir. No. That’s okay--
DR. WASHINGTON: Detective! Don’t let me have to pull rank--or age--on you! You won fair and square. Humor an old man; will ya? Let’s eat. (THEY WALK TO THE DINING AREA)
FI: Dr. Washington. Your usual? Reuben sandwich and Thousand Island dressing on the side?
DET. GROSSMAN: Corned beef and pastrami this early in the morning?
DR. WASHINGTON: How do you think I made it to 100? Besides, I like to get here before the college freshmen finally wake up. I beat the crowd. (TO FI) Thanks, Fi. And can I have a Shipyard Pumpkinhead Ale while I wait?
FI: Sure enough, sir. And what will you have, Detective?
DET. GROSSMAN: I’ll have a small cup of clam chowder, please. And coffee while I wait.
FI: Coming right up. This way please. Oh, and Dr, you want that Reuben on pumpernickel rye with a side of sweet potato fries, right?
DR. WASHINGTON: You read my mind, Fi. You’re one in a million.
FI: I love my job, sir. And it’s always a pleasure to have you here.
(LEO, A SHORT, MUSCULAR 20ISH YOUNG MAN WITH A NEATLY-TRIMMED MOUSTACHE, IN WHITE SHIRT AND BEIGE SPORT COAT COMES TO THEIR TABLE AND HANDS A MANILLA ENVELOPE TO DR. WASHINGTON)
LEO: Excuse me, Dr. Washington. Ms Salerno asked me to bring this to you. The notes from the condo board meeting that you asked her for, sir. She apologizes for the wait.
DR. WASHINGTON: (TAKING THE ENVELOPE) Thank you, Leo, This is Detective Grossman. She and her partner have been assigned to the case.
LEO: It’s a pleasure to meet you, Detective. I’m sorry to have interrupted your meal. Have a good day.
(LEO GOES TO THE CASHIER WHO GIVES HIM A BAGGED FOOD ORDER. HE
PAYS HER AND EXITS) (DET. GROSSMAN WATCHES LEO. DR. WASHINGTON NOTICES THIS AND SMILES, TAKING A SIP OF HIS BEER)
DR. WASHINGTON: Barbara also asks her assistants to bring her lunch back to her office sometimes. But she pays them well. (HE SLIDES THE MANILLA ENVELOPE TO DET. GROSSMAN) Open it. Barbara can be a little imposing so I paid her a visit. Take a look at last quarter’s financial report. Now look at the corresponding meeting notes. Detective, you haven’t touched your chowder. Maybe you’d like eggs and bacon? Home fries? (HE GLANCES TOWARD FI ACROSS THE ROOM)
DET. GROSSMAN: (STUDYING THE REPORT) No thank you. I’m fine. There’s a deficit here. A big one.
DR. WASHINGTON: No kidding. (POINTING TO THE TOP OF THE PAGE) Now why would this report be stamped “Confidential”? Look at the minutes. It’s not listed under the agenda. In fact, the finance section is blank.
DET. GROSSMAN: That’s not unusual for a nonprofit. Board members are volunteers so their strengths are varied. You get what you get. Whoever took the minutes probably just forgot to include it in the list of items. Sloppy, but not a crime.
DR. WASHINGTON: Nah. I know Barbara. She’s a perfectionist. She’d never leave out financial information. The report always matches the meeting minutes. I haven’t always been able to attend board meetings--I travel a lot--but I drop in from time to time. I have a sort of standing invitation. I’ve had my unit longer than anyone else. Over the years, I’ve held office on the board and I’ve taken the minutes many times. I’ve never seen anything like this before.
DET. GROSSMAN: But you know Ms Salerno, sir. She must have approved and verified these minutes. Could she be trying to hide something?
DR. WASHINGTON: (TAKING A BITE OF HIS SANDWICH) Ummmm! You can’t beat a Reuben sandwich any time of day! (LOOKING AROUND HIM) I love this place. Everybody in this place knows me. Anything I want, any time of day! They spoil me! Do you know, last year when I was sick-very sick, sicker than I’ve ever been in my life!--Fi must have called me a dozen times to
check on me. She even sent someone over with sandwiches and soup. Nice people. Very nice. I’m one of the owners of the Boston Chops restaurant, you know. I couldn’t resist it. It has chops so thick you could choke an elephant! And the texture! Meat so tender it falls off the bone! And it’s so close to the Emerson Majestic Theatre. My subscription series gives me the best seats in the house. You know I couldn’t pass that up! I’m a donor too. It would be embarrassing not to be. My granddaughter’s an Assistant Professor in the film department and her parents are
alumni. It’s a great school. We wear the purple and gold with pride! I even started a scholarship in my wife’s honor. They’re giving a naming ceremony this fall when they rename the speech pathology clinic in her honor. That school is like a home away from home for me.
DET. GROSSMAN: ---(INTERRUPTING HIM) Dr. Washington, is Ms Salerno hiding something? My partner and I need to know if this check to Colin O’Shea has anything to do with Ian Chenoweth’s murder. If it is a murder. The minutes list Colin Seamus O’Shea and Ian Chenoweth and Viveca Chatworth as being present at the quarterly meeting on this date.
DR. WASHINGTON: (PATIENTLY) Yes, I know. Barbara Salerno and I go way back. She’s a very honest person. And she’s loyal, if I may use an archaic term. But if she willingly gave me these documents knowing that the financial report was missing, she obviously wasn’t trying to hide anything. I know you mean well, Detective, and you want to solve this case, but I can assure you that Barbara had nothing to do with that mysterious check and this omission in the board records. So how is your partner coming along with Viveca Chatworth? We’re assuming this was murder but I’m the one who found the gun that was already wiped clean of any prints. (DET. GROSSMAN LOOKS AT HIM)
DR. WASHINGTON: And, no! I did not wipe the gun myself! I was a detective for 15 years before I retired--and with honors and commendations I might add!--I know what I’m doing, young lady. Years of retirement haven’t made me rusty. If that were the case the company I work for would never have sought me out and brought me out of retirement.
DET. GROSSMAN: --and the name of that company, sir?
DR. WASHINGTON: Ah! (CHUCKLING) Nice try Detective, but no go. What did the M.E. say about Ian Chenoweth’s body?
DET. GROSSMAN: There were dark compressions on the chest, indications of efforts to revive him. No puncture wounds. Bahiti got the toxicology test back. There was a very high blood alcohol level. Tissue was found under Chenoweth’s nails. The M.E.’s still working on it but it’s not Viveca’s. And the blood all over her pajamas--
DR. WASHINGTON: Don’t tell me: not Chenowth’s, but Viveca’s own blood. So where does the gun come in?
DET. GROSSMAN: Beats me (HER CELL PHONE RINGS INDICATING A TEXT MESSAGE.SHE READS IT, SMILES AND PUTS IT BACK IN HER PURSE)
DR. WASHINGTON: What? (SMILES)
DET. GROSSMAN: Oh. My husband. He wants to know how our lunch is going, He’s SO impressed that I’m working on a case with the legendary Dr. Blaise Washington!
DR. WASHINGTON: Well that’s very kind of him. Is he a lawyer? A police officer like you?
DET. GROSSMAN: No (LAUGHS) He’s Director and Sound Engineer of the audiobook division of a publishing house in New Jersey. He follows your podcast and he’s read the books on your book club list. Law school just wasn’t for him. But he’s fluent in four languages like you and he majored in African American history and literature.
DR. WASHINGTON: That’s wonderful. Law school’s not for everyone. We all have to follow our own path in life. We shouldn’t try to live our lives for our parents. Trust me, I know. We have to follow our own muse. What do your parents do for a living?
DET. GROSSMAN: They’re both doctors. My dad is Jewish and my mom is from Trinidad. They met in med school. Nobody in my family is on the force but me. Way back in junior high the Police Commissioner came to speak to our class for Career Day. My brother was impressed with the Broadway set designer but I was impressed with the opportunity to lead other people.
DR. WASHINGTON: Really? Now I’m impressed! That’s unusual for someone so young. In junior high school?
DET, GROSSMAN: I know, right? Commissioner Geoffrey O’Reilly was my friend Daphne’s uncle. He gave me a tour of the precinct. He took Daphne and I to a deli where the squad got their sandwiches and we got to eat with them. I got to see how he treated other people, especially his own family. He was a great guy. He took his kids to amusement parks and even went trick or treating when he had Halloween off. He organized food drives for the homeless and volunteered for Big Brother Big Sister Clubs of America. When you ask a cop why they’re a cop the young ones say “I want to make a difference in the community.” Why did you become a cop, Dr. Washington? You were a hotshot lawyer! You tried cases with Thurgood Marshall, for goodness sake!
DR. WASHINGTON: Detective, I’ve lived so long, I’ve almost forgotten why I do the things I do! I became a lawyer because my father didn’t...or couldn’t. I became a lawyer when I got home from World War II. But I protested the Vietnam War too. I guess I became a cop to make a difference. And I did. For 15 years.
DET. GROSSMAN: Then there’s the consultant work you did for movies and TV. Wow! Somebody from my class at the Academy said she passed by you on Comm Ave when a reporter was interviewing you about that TV show that was cancelled. She says she realized it was you when the reporter said your name. I think she was lying.
DR. WASHINGTON: Oh, things like that happened a lot. That’s the thing about filming in a major city. Someone can be minding their own business on the way to the “T” or walking to the corner store, and suddenly there are a lot of bright lights, microphones, cameras, and a cluster of people. I got used to it, though. And the cast was wonderful. Too bad it was cancelled. I miss it. (FI COMES TO THEIR TABLE)
FI: Can I top off your coffee, Detective? How was the chowder?
DET. GROSSMAN: Thank you, no. The chowder was delicious. I have to meet my husband soon in Cambridge. (TO DR. WASHINGTON) We’re cooking in a food truck for a fundraiser for the Boys and Girls Club.
DR. WASHINGTON: Hey. that’s great! Is your husband a good cook? What kind of food are you making?
DET. GROSSMAN: He’s an excellent cook! My mom says he makes better Trinidad stew chicken than she does! And he’s Italian! But I make the best apple cake you’ve ever tasted! My grandmother taught me. And, believe it or not, I studied at the Sorbonne for a summer during high school!
DR. WASHINGTON: I believe it! You’re giving your partner, Bahiti, a run for his money. Which reminds me, I’ve got to talk to both of you about my interview with Viveca Chatworth. She was still in shock when I questioned her at the station with your captain. Wasn’t Bahiti supposed to meet us here?
DET. GROSSMAN: (EVASIVE) Well,,,yes. Something came up and he said he’d call me.
DR. WASHINGTON: “Something came up”. Hmm. Detective, I don’t think your partner likes me very much.
DET. GROSSMAN: Oh. I wouldn’t say that. He just doesn’t like outside people on our cases.
DR. WASHINGTON: “Outside” people. Hmm. I’ve known Bahiti since he was a baby. I used to toss him a baseball when his dad and I hung out together. Bahiti used to play soldier, trying on
our army jackets even though they were falling apart. He was a great kid. Then...I don’t know. I just don’t know…
DET. GROSSMAN: Maybe he just misses his father sometimes.
DR. WASHINGTON: (DISTRACTED) Maybe. Maybe you’re right, Detective.
(MOTIONING TO FI) (HE WIPES HIS MOUTH AND TAKES OUT HIS CREDIT CARD) I’ve got to get going. (GROSSMAN OPENS HER PURSE) Do you want something to take home? Donuts? ( (WHISPERING) They make good cheese grits here! Oh no you don’t, young lady. I told you this is on me. Put your money away right now or I’ll tell your parents how you beat a poor old man at pool. Mercilessly! (THEY LAUGH) I’ll tell you what, though. Save me some callaloo and some of that stew chicken or stew beef from your fundraiser, and we’ll call it even. Yeah! I eat Trinidadian food. I was made an honorary “Trini” one spring. I guess I’ll have to practice my pool strategy too. Talk to you soon, Detective.
(HE GOES TO THE CASHIER THEN EXITS. DET. GROSSMAN SIPS HER COFFEE THOUGHTFULLY)
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About the Author
KAREN CARSON is a writer, producer, performer, and former broadcast coordinator and audiobook recording producer for a radio reading service for the blind.
Trained at Emerson College in Boston and Herbert Berghoff (HB) Studios in New York City, with a Masters degree from Rider University, Karen has been interviewed by U.S.1 newspaper, and featured on “Your Career is Calling” on WRRC 1077.7FM, and NJTV’s “Classroom Close-up”, on her original collection of monologues about job loss presented throughout New Jersey at a play festival, bookstores, libraries, and Princeton’s Theatre Intime.
Also a contributing writer for Trenton Daily’s online publication, Karen has written a memoir about volunteerism and being a struggling artist in New York City. She has also written entertaining crime stories and scripts like “The Case of the Drunken Heiress”.
Karen may be contacted at karencarson21@yahoo.com.